Car Bomb
by NatalyaShae
Summary: The price is never too high for her country, and if that meant having a prisoner water boarded while she went and drank some tea; or being shot, then so be it. However, nothing good ever came out of coming to Iraq, never. Elizabeth has a nightmare about her past.


_One Shot around season one._

 _Being in Iraq was kind of like being in a dessert that you had a vague curiosity of but never thought you'd actually wind up in, never mine the hot temperature that was literally melting the rubber off her boots. Elizabeth McCord was in Iraq for the third time. Each time she'd been there, she was forced to do something she never thought she was capable of doing. The price is never too high for her country, and if that meant having a prisoner water boarded while she went and drank some tea; or being shot, then so be it. However, nothing good ever came out of coming to Iraq, never._

 _She was here on an Intel Op. Speaking Arabic and being an analysis for the CIA was sort of like signing herself a one way ticket to Iraq, a war torn country that couldn't decide if it was going to grow a spine or plan a coup; you never really did know who was friend from foe. Anyways, she was here because there was chatter of a coup, no surprise there, but the U.S wanted Intel on who was who in the coup, that's where she came in. Her contacts lived in Al Hillah. Sighing, she walked with her escort to a diner. After allowing her escort, Mashal, to order her food, something he said she would very much love, she turned her attention outside. It was rather busy outside, people coming and going to the markets and the children playing just in the alleyway._

" _Kayf kan yawmik (How was your day)?" Mashal asks politely. He was about twenty five, a Prince to Al Ketbi. He tended to avert his gaze from her, something she knew was rather respectful of him._

" _Muttaeib. Madha ean IK? (Tiring. How about yours?)" She replied. Mashal smiles, slightly impressed._

" _Maharatuk allughwiat muaththirat jaddaanla bd li min alaietiraf bih. (Your language skills are very impressive, I must admit)" Mashal replies instead, almost approvingly. Before she could respond, they heard honking in the plaza square. A car being impatient, no doubt. Then, they heard screaming and the car squealing to a stop right outside the diner. Mashal and her looked at one another, the color all but drained from their faces._

" _ALNNAUZUL!" Mashal yelled, leaping out of his chair, he tackled me to the floor right before-_

 _ **BOOM**_

 _ **~…~**_

Elizabeth bolted upright in bed, gasping for air and covered in sweat. Her hands shook as she whipped away the sweat from her forehead.

"Babe?" Henry's voice questions. She looked over at him and saw him watching her with a worried look, and oddly not a lick of sleep seemed to be in eyes.

"Just a bad dream, sorry I woke you" She says rather hoarsely. Henry frowned and scooted so that he sat in front of her and grabbed her hand in his.

"That wasn't just a bad dream, babe." Henry states, offering his support. Elizabeth swallowed.

Henry, her sweet husband, had been a Marine; he went to his deployments without complaint. It was just something he felt he had to do. He'd been a fighter pilot, shooting at targets high in the sky. Of course, he had his own way of dealing with his actions, like taking a religious trip for three months. She's been an operative, going to war zones and back to the office like she was just making a trip down to the grocery store. Her way of dealing with it was to shove it in a box and not think about it. She'd tried that, anyway. The first time, she had someone tortured, the guilt ate at her. She'd feared that Henry would love her anymore. After all, he was a very ethical person with high morals. She'd told him in a generalized sense what she'd done and he pieced it together and then they literally snuggled in bed for a whole day- it had seemed like anyway- with him reassuring her that no matter what, he had fallen in love with her, and that wasn't going to change. The second time, she'd been shot. She had tried to hide it…that didn't end so well. Henry had been mad and almost re-enlisted. There was some mad plotting going on when he'd declared he was going to 'get the bastard'. Now, she was having nightmares about something that happened years ago, how was she supposed to tell him that?

"-BABE!?" Henry nearly shouted, grabbing Elizabeth's shoulders and shaking. She blinked back into focus and looked at Henry.

"What?" She asks. Henry sighed.

"You zoned out and then you started to gasp." Henry explains. Nodding, Elizabeth stood up from the bed and walked over to the window. She looked outside and saw only the night sky and her Diplomatic Security Agents.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Henry asks, coming to stand next to her, but far enough away to give her space.

"…Let's go make breakfast" She declares, suddenly. Henry follows his wife down the stairs, having a sneaky suspicion that they were going to be making pancakes, and by we, he meant himself.

Elizabeth sat at the island, watching Henry cook. It was almost five in the morning.

"I'm sorry I woke you" She says again. Henry gave her a look.

"Don't be, babe, I'm here for you." He says. Elizabeth fidgets with her hand. She's always felt comfortable telling Henry anything and everything, however, she'd always hated admitting to weakness and that's what this was, a weakness. When other people suffered the very same as her, she believed it was understandable and okay, but it just wasn't the same when it happened to herself. It just _wasn't_ fine or okay when it happened to her.

"Do you remember the Battle of Al Hillah in'03?" Elizabeth asks. Henry froze, as he did with any direct question about the Iraq war. He swallowed and nodded his head. He'd flown over those skies, waiting to be of use to the ground troops.

"I didn't think you were there" He voiced after a moment of lapsed silence. The thought that he could have potentially killed his wife drained all color from his face.

"I wasn't," She says quickly, seeing him pale, "I was there before it happened though" She admitted much quieter. Henry took a minute to pour the pancake batter on the pan.

"What happened?" He asks softly. Elizabeth debated for only a second before-

"A car bomb" she states. Henry watched the emotions flicker across his wife's face. He settled into the seat next to her and took her hand.

"You never told me this" he says with a frown.

"I didn't tell you when I was shot or when I had someone tortured." She retorted, her tone self deprecating.

"Hey, look a me," Henry ordered her, forcing her to look at him. She looked at him and all he could see was the pain and tiredness of whatever she had dreamt of, "You are a very strong woman, who I fell in love with and will forever love. Nothing you do will have change that" He says firmly.

"And what about the things I have done, Henry. You don't know everything. I could be a monster for all you know! There very people you talk about being against!" Elizabeth says, her eyes watering at the thought of her husband hating her. Henry, without hesitance, replies-

"' _To be fully seen by somebody, then, and to be loved anyhow- this is a human offering that can border on miraculous'_ "

"Did you just quote Elizabeth Gilbert?" Elizabeth asks after a moment of taking in what Henry just promised her.

"Right out of _Commited:A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage_ " Henry admits with a tilting nod. Elizabeth smiles slightly,

"Well Mr. Romantic, ' _A Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person'_ "

Henry smiles widely.

"Mignon McLaughlin" he answers. Elizabeth nods.

"I'm never going to stop loving you, I'm always going to be here for you…for us…for our kids." Henry speaks with conviction. Elizabeth opens and closes her mouth. She had so many things she wanted to say and at the same time she had no idea what to say. Solving her problem, Henry leans in and kisses her.

"The pancakes are going to burn" Elizabeth states, pulling away for some air. Henry groaned before moving away to flip the pancakes.

"…Were you hurt in the Car bomb?" Henry asks, dragging them back on track on what had them in the kitchen at 0500. Elizabeth looked into Henry's eyes and gave a slight nod.

"My escort and I were in a small diner-" Elizabeth tells him what happened without giving out too many details so she wouldn't get either of them in trouble. Henry listened without interruption, only tensing at the end.

"-We were thrown back about ten feet. There was this ringing and the light was really bright. Everything I saw was blurry at first…I didn't even notice the blood at first. I'm sure you can imagine what it looked like. Especially going outside…I made the mistake of looking over to where the kids were playing _football_ (American Soccer)in the alley…" Elizabeth sat rigid in her chair, her hands fisted, and her eyes distant. Henry closed his eyes, wishing his wife never had to see that. This explained why she'd been hesitant to allow Allie to play Soccer when she first asked, because despite in illogic of it, Elizabeth connected Soccer to the car bombing.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, babe" Henry says honestly. Elizabeth takes a deep breath.

"Yeah…me too"

"I assume you made it to a CIA safe house?" Henry asks. Elizabeth shakes her head.

"No, I couldn't get ahold of the CIA. Almost all coms were down. My escort guided us to safety. He was kind enough to let me stay with his wives until I could contact the CIA."

Henry raised an eyebrow but all Elizabeth did was shrug.

"They were very nice." She offered.

"Please don't tell me that this escort is Al Ketbi, A King in Iraq that I know runs an oil company" Henry begs.

"If it's any comfort, he was a Prince at the time" Elizabeth offers. Henry groans.

"Not helping" Henry playfully groans. He takes the pancakes off the pan and onto a plate. He grabs the syrup and a fork and sits it in front of his wife.

"What, no ice cream?" Elizabeth asks. Henry rolls his eyes and gets back up to grab the tub of ice cream.

"You going to be okay?" Henry asks, sitting down next to her. Elizabeth smiles. The pancakes already half gone. Her husband had woken up at 04-something because she had startled out of a nightmare, made her pancakes, and sat with her as she talked about it.

"Yeah," she was going to be just fine.

When they finally got back into bed, it was around 0630. Henry pulled his wife to him and wrapped their blanket around them.

"I love you" Henry whispers in her ear.

"I love you too" Elizabeth says tiredly, inhaling her husbands scent. They fell asleep soon after.

…

Stevie stood making breakfast for her siblings. She'd glared at her brother to submission when he was to loud and literally snapped at Allie when she complained too loudly. She'd woken early only to find her parents in the kitchen talking. Her mom had been on the verge of tears so she nearly barged in and demanded to know what was wrong. But they had continued to talk and Stevie was forced to learn, yet again, some cold hard facts about her mom.

Her mom had been CIA, she knew this, but she conveniently forgot just what that entailed. Her mom had told her that she had someone water boarded, but only because there was someone there that was going to tell her first and her mom wanted her to hear it from her. She had thought her mom to be in semblance, a monster. She didn't think her mom, her fair, just, loving mom could have done something so atrocious as having someone tortured. It just wasn't right. However, she never thought that her mom could see herself in the same way. Her dad would never reject mom, but her mom feared as such. Oh boy, she had a lot of thinking to do. She'd been so hard on her mom since she learned of her having someone water boarded, going so far as to temporarily move out.

"When are Mom and Dad going to wake up?" Jason complained.

"Shut up!" Stevie yell whispered.

"Why? Are they sick?" Allie came up and asks. Stevie shook her head.

"No, they just had a late night. You know how moms job is, always calling her in in the dead of night" Stevie lies, well sort of.

"Or in the early hours of the morning" Allie adds.

"It's a conspiracy, I tell you" Jason announces. Stevie rolls her eyes at her little brother. Something would never change.


End file.
